There’s No Magic Pill For Unwanted Habits

An old proverb says: ‘Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and feed him for a lifetime.’ 

Sounds pretty easy on the face of it but there is a lot more involved. To teach someone how to fish they have to be willing, coachable and capable. Also, there are several steps to go through before that person can fish and actually catch something. First of all, what kind of fishing is to be taught - fly, net, deep sea? And what about the different kinds of bait or flies to be used?  Then there's how to cast effectively, where to cast - location, location, location - not to mention the patience and possible boredom to contend with. What will happen if they don't catch anything? Determination and resolve have to be covered along with handling disappointment. They have to be taught that success is built on failure, practice improves results and so forth. 

All this takes time, effort and lots of practice and along the way your fishing student may also have to learn to deal with ridicule from so-called friends – 

‘Why go fishing when you can buy ready prepped in the store?’ 

‘What a waste of time and effort which you could be spending with your friends and family.’  

They might even have to deal with rejection as well when their so-called good friends stop calling round or inviting them to BBQs and so on. Now I realise what I've just described is maybe a bit extreme, but the point I'm making is this: You don't learn to fish overnight. 

Now what about Satori moments? They are often described as happening just like that, out of the blue, as a light bulb moment or an AHA! moment, a revelation, an enlightenment and so forth. But are they really? 

Let's take Thomas Edison's literal Light Bulb Moment as an example. Did Thomas have instant success with his invention? Did he suddenly, in an inspired moment, pass electric current through a filament and Hey Presto! the light bulb was invented? No, he didn't. In actual fact it took Thomas Edison at least 10,000 attempts to get that desired effect. That means he failed 10,000 times before he found success, before he had his Light Bulb Moment.

 However, there's something else. He also took the action and developed the habits and behaviours which led up to that Moment. He first had the idea, which came from pondering on how to find an easier and less dangerous way to provide lighting in homes, then he brainstormed, planned, experimented with different kinds of electrical conductors and filaments and eventually achieved his goal. 

Another example is Mikao Usui, the founder of the Energy Working practice we know as Reiki. He wanted to find a way of using Energy without having to use his own personal reserves. He was familiar with Qi Gong masters who would have to replenish their personal Energy stores after treating several patients and, quite often, this could take days. 

Mikao wanted to find a simpler, easier way which would also benefit the Energy Practitioner and so he meditated on this whilst visiting the Buddhist Monastery on Mt. Kurama, Japan and eventually he apparently had his Satori Moment and started to further develop the system which he called 'Method to achieve Personal Perfection' with the aim that all those studying the system would achieve Satori, to find their spiritual path, to heal themselves. 

When this Practice eventually came to the West it became known as Reiki – Universal Lifeforce Energy. Satori then, is not just an instant happening, a flash of inspiration, a light bulb moment. It is more. It is a series of habits, behaviours, practices which lead to that end result. Satori, therefore, is not the destination but the start of the journey. The same goes for getting rid of bad habits. 

I once saw a Facebook post which made me chuckle and also summed up people’s attitude towards change in a nutshell. It was a cartoon strip of two panels and the first panel showed a speaker at a lectern before a large crowd and he asked them: ‘Who wants change?’

 Every single one in the crowd had their hands in the air and eager looks on their faces. In the next panel the same speaker asks: ‘Who wants to change?’ 

This time there were no hands in the air, and everyone was looking sheepishly at the floor. Therein lies the problem with us mortals. 

As much as we would like to change something in our lives, very few are prepared to get out of their Comfort Zones and do something about it. Most will either find some excuse to justify not changing or they’ll try a few times and give up at the first hurdle. Why is that? Is it because they’re lazy so don’t bother making any kind of effort? Or is it perhaps they don’t really want to change so just go through the motions to justify themselves saying ‘At least I gave it a go’? I would say both are correct, but not for the majority. For most of us I believe it’s something more profound. 

Remember the first panel of the cartoon I mentioned earlier? When asked if they wanted change everyone had their hand up. That’s how most of us react. We want to make the necessary changes in our lives which will improve our lot, such as giving up smoking, reducing weight or finding a better job to improve our work-life balance and so on. Now comes the BUT. 

Most people want to make a significant change in their lives which would lead to a significant improvement, BUT when they realise just what’s involved in taking that step to breaking a habit, they become overwhelmed with the enormity of it all. And then the Neggy Chatter inside their heads starts to take over: 

‘I can’t do this, it’s too much, it’s too hard. I think I’ll stay as I am, it’s not that bad, better the Devil you know, eh?’ 

Does that sound familiar? To break, or overcome, an unwanted habit, you need to replace it with a good one, a better one. 

For example, if ‘McBurgerChickenQueen’ is your favourite restaurant but you want to lead a healthier lifestyle, just talking about it won’t work. You will have to replace your favourite restaurant with a healthier version that serves lean cuisine and throw some regular exercise into the mix. Walking, for example, is a great way to exercise and saves on expensive gym fees. Want to do some weightlifting? Walk home from the shops whilst carrying your shopping! Use your car for longer journeys only – saves money – and helps save the planet! 

Getting rid of unwanted habits isn’t easy, if it was no one would have a problem with it and we’d all be perfectly fit and healthy and living the Dream, right?

No-one has, as yet, has discovered a Magic Pill or Potion for our unwanted habits so effort is required to get the life desired.  Let’s take giving up the smoking habit as an example. There are so many options we can use to help break the nicotine habit such as patches, electric cigarettes, vapes, herbal variants, nicotine gum tablets and even hypnosis to name but a few. All work to some extent, mainly as replacements though, so the original habit is actually still there in the background. How difficult would it be to go back to smoking if really tempted? For some, unless they have the Willpower possibly not very difficult at all which is why many do indeed fail.

I’ve often spoken to people who say they were able to give up smoking literally overnight. They would say things like they just came to a decision, crushed whatever cigarettes - or threw away whatever tobacco - they had and that was it, never smoked again. I admire that strength of Willpower but can’t help thinking there was maybe more to it than that, that there was a build up to them making that final conscious decision to quit smoking. 

Notice I said conscious decision. Is there, perhaps, a possibility that these former smokers subconsciously made that decision to quit before taking physical action to back it up, to put it into practice? I think so. Just think of the barrage of anti-smoking campaigns via TV, newspapers, billboards and stories of others in their peer groups who have given up and all that is taken in by their subconscious minds. Or maybe they had health issues which culminated in a visit to the doctor who advised them to give up smoking. Whatever the circumstances leading up to it, in time they made that conscious decision and quit, seemingly just like that. 

The subconscious doesn’t know fact from fiction, truth from lie, it’s just like a computer in that sense, accepting whatever information it’s given. For example, I use Microsoft Word when writing on my PC. Now built into this software is an auto correct function which will offer corrections if I misspell something or get my grammar wrong. However, if I chose to add a fictitious word and wanted to prevent it from being underlined by a blue or red squiggle, I could Right Click with my mouse and in the menu choose ‘add to dictionary’ and it would be accepted without a quibble! 

The point I’m getting at is this: You won’t break a habit unless you really want to. It took me about a year to finally quit smoking because I enjoyed it so much and because I’d been smoking for a fair while, something like twenty plus years on a regular basis. Those of you who currently, or used to, smoke will possibly appreciate this. If I had a drink, hot or cold, I enjoyed having a cigarette with it. If I ate something, I enjoyed having a smoke afterwards. If I was bored, it gave me something to do. 

If I was out socializing with friends, I smoked even more. If I was stressed it calmed me down. I loved the nicotine rush first thing in the morning and looked forward to my last smoke of the day. But eventually I got fed up with waking up with a furry mouth, shortness of breath, the bland taste of food, the rising cost, the nicotine-stained teeth and fingers and all the other attributes of smoking. I had to wean myself off them and, as I said, it took me about a year, but I have not looked back since. 

That was back in 1996 and I, up to now, have not once had any form of craving for nicotine. Like I said, you have to want to break a habit before you can. You also need to replace it with a better one, in my case that was sweets, biscuits and cake so I’m not sure if that worked out quite right! In my situation these were all small habit parts making up the greater whole. I wasn’t able to deal with them all in one go, I had to break them down into more manageable pieces. And therein lies the secret to breaking any habit and starting new ones. 

You don’t have to do it all at once, just small steps on a daily basis will get you to where you want to be. Yes, it still takes self-discipline and time and effort and even hard work, but it’s manageable, easier, less overwhelming. And when that Neggy Chatter starts it will be harder to find excuses to stop because it won’t seem like you’re doing much. The result becomes more apparent further down the line when, all of a sudden, the new habit becomes second nature. 

At the end of the day, it’s all about Choice, your Choice and that’s what will help you reach your Satori moment and overcome whatever unwanted habit you’re working on. Choose to want to, choose to keep going, choose to reject failure as a destination, choose to win and create your Satori moment.

Namaste,

Jeremy R Scott

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