The Wheel Of Misfortune

I hated money with a passion; I loathed it that much I made sure everyone knew it.

I railed against those who were wealthy, more so if their behaviour was, in my opinion, despicable and wasteful in the way they used their power and wealth to manipulate others, including the Law. And even though I contradicted that thought with thoughts of abundance and wealth later in life, it was too deep-rooted to have any major effect. Whenever I received extra money above whatever I needed for the day to day, especially substantial amounts, I would spend it on having a great time which usually involved shopping sprees and copious amounts of alcohol, despite maybe having outstanding debts or bills to pay. This obviously led to the bills mounting up and being even more in debt as well as potential Court appearances as a result. Eventually, after many attempts, I started to get into the habit of looking after my finances properly, but any extra cash still went out almost as soon as I had received it. That Splash the Cash and You Only Live Once attitude obviously meant I was soon back, unconsciously, to a more comfortable, safer environment of having a life of living, actually more like existing, from one pay day to the next and of course quite often not quite making it all the way and relying on overdrafts, credit cards or borrowing from friends to see me through. It was a seemingly never-ending self-imposed Wheel of Misfortune.

Why didn’t I save for a rainy day? Save? Me? Not a chance, I couldn’t even do that on any regular basis. Any Rainy-Day money would soon end up being used long before the rains arrived. Obviously, that meant I was always broke – but safe in my Comfort Zone. One blessing in disguise was that my low Credit Rating stopped me from getting myself even deeper into debt, but only just!

So, how did all this come about, this hatred for money, this passion or obsession with getting rid of this vile contamination as fast as I could? Although born in England, I actually grew up in Belfast, Northern Ireland, having moved there at the age of four and it was roughly four years later, in 1965, when what became known as The Troubles started to kick off in earnest. A year later we moved from the city centre to the outskirts, to a new housing development in East Belfast. It was there I witnessed the first injustices of that time when families, neighbours and schoolfriends were forced out of their homes just because they were Roman Catholic and the local Protestant Paramilitaries didn’t want them in the area, despite them not being remotely a threat. It was a tit-for-tat situation because it was also happening the other way around in the Roman Catholic areas and not all forced evictions were peaceful, many were very violent.

A few years later when I was around twelve or thirteen, I watched a report on the News one evening about how wealthy American businesspeople were supporting both the Unionists and Republicans with funds to buy weapons and bomb making equipment to help them kill, maim, and cause destruction and mayhem. This really made me angry as I couldn’t understand why they would do that, it had nothing to do with them, even if they did have Irish connections. That money, in my opinion back then, could have been put to better use to help those who were innocently caught up in all the violence or help find a resolution instead of encouraging it and funding murder and mayhem. I vowed I would never allow myself to be in such a position to use any wealth in such a way. Thus, those seeds of a loathing for wealth were sown and developed into my Hating Money with a Passion paradigm reinforced by me constantly repeating it. 

It wasn’t until 2014, around February time and some four decades later, that I started working on this deep-rooted money hating issue in earnest. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy; I had tried several times before and failed, but along came my Thomas Edison style Lightbulb moment, my Satori flash of inspiration, and I now knew why I had failed before, despite all the positive stuff crammed into my head. You see, it takes more than what The Secret says about manifestation, it takes more than The Law of Attraction on its own. It takes more than sitting in an armchair visualising your desired outcome.

Whenever Bob Proctor talked about this he always referred to The Law of Vibration, becoming one with the Energy around us. There is no benefit to attracting good positive stuff to you if you are out of tune with the world around you and therefore the Universe. You also need to be One, in tune, with Yourself. The late Wayne Dyer also often spoke of this and would say that we, on the quantum level, should be One with the Universal Energy, vibrating at a higher frequency and, as that is the same Energy, which is used by, or emanates from, God - or Source, Divine, Creator - we are not only One with God but are also God ourselves, all part of the same Whole. At first, I disagreed with the idea that we are God, it went against everything I had been taught by various parts of Organised Religion, especially the Witnesses. However, it gradually started to make sense, and I now fully accept that we return to Source once we finish our time here in this 3D Reality, returning as Souls, Energy Beings to be reunited with the All That Is. But I digress.

Through my Reiki training I learned it is possible to travel in time. Ok, so not actually Dr Who style of Time Travel, but in a meditational sense. I learned how to travel back to any point in my life I wanted to and send Positive Loving Energy to that time to help me to, not change history, but to forgive all involved, accept it as something which cannot be changed and move on. This is what I’ve added to what both Bob Proctor and Wayne Dyer taught, and it has helped me gain that valuable breakthrough, not only with my money hating issue but also in other areas as well.

That’s also where staying in the Now comes into play as from that standpoint there is no Past or Future, there is only what is in the Present, there is only Now. Thich Nhat Hahn’s teachings on this formed the base upon which I added teachings from Eckhart Tolle and others which have all helped me to get to where I am today with my current and much more positive attitude towards material abundance. I have also successfully worked on other habits, attitudes and Self-Sabotaging Stinkin’ Thinkin’ along the way and continue to do so. By the way there’s no rule that says you have to stay with one particular Teaching or Master, that’s where most Belief Systems have, in my opinion, gone awry. Love In Full Experience has many Teachers and Masters and all are as valuable as each other.